Whose Dream Is It?

Your dreams are pretty powerful…but only if you allow them to be. That’s why I want to do a small series of posts on really going after what you’ve always been dreaming about.

Unfortunately all too often there are certain factors that keep us from following or pursuing our dreams. The first of these is the dreams of someone else.

Hopefully, you were raised in a home that dreaming was encouraged, and nurtured and cultivated as your own. But this is often not the case. Parents are living out their dreams through their children…or realism is far outweighing the opportunity to chase after the dreams of our young people.

In these formative years, people lose touch with their emerging identity (who they are and what they desire to do) and they adopt the desires of someone else’s heart. This is most often to gain approval, or because there are just a perceived lack of options.

If you’re able to dig yourself out of someone else’s dream, there is one vital aspect I need you to do for me: I need you to own it! Quit trying to please the person that has talked you out of pursuing your passion! You’ll never be able to achieve a dream that you don’t own!

So quit wishing…and quit waiting…let’s work on our dreams together! No more excuses…like:

“Dreams don’t come true for ordinary people”

“If the dream isn’t big, it isn’t worth pursuing”

“Now is not the right time to pursue my dream”

So I need you to drop the facade…bet on yourself…and lead your life instead of just accepting it the way it is…

Your dream is not your parents dream…it’s yours. You may succeed if no one else believes in you, but you’ll never succeed if you don’t believe in yourself.

So all this to say: when the dream is right for the person, and the person is right for the dream…it’s pretty unstoppable.

Go chase your dreams!

God Bless,

ABB

It's On The Leader (a.k.a. It's Your Fault)

I've had the great opportunity to work with managers and leaders over the years that run the full gamut of competency and ability.  And one thing that I know about leading...it's difficult.  People are challenging.  It's much easier to pass the blame or pass the buck than to take charge and take responsibility.  

But if there's one aspect that I believe holds leaders back from their full potential...it's that they don't understand that it's always the leader's fault.  

If there is an employee or team member that is complacent or unhappy, it's your fault.  If there are complaining guests, it's your fault.  If you can't come in on budget, it's your fault.  Do you see the theme here?

So...here's where we separate the great leaders from the mediocre ones...

Great leaders embrace the responsibility, and make it their mission to find opportunities in the problems.

Mediocre and bad leaders take the responsibility personally...or they get offended...or just simply ignore the problems.

Being a manager is appointed.  But being a great leader is a decision to accept the challenge that "everything rises and falls on leadership."  

Oh, and also an important side note...let your team take the glory...you take the criticism.  And then watch what happens to the team that you lead!

God Bless,

-ABB

4 Questions I Want You To Ask Yourself

The way you begin each day is critical to your success.  It sets the path in motion for the general attitudes and perceptions that will enable you to tackle what lies ahead.  After all, life is tough, and it comes at you pretty fast.  Wouldn't you want to be prepared for it every time you wake up?  I believe you have a much better chance of doing that if you ask yourself the following 4 questions...everyday.

1. Do I want to a part of the problem or part of the solution?

    - There's really only 2 sides to this coin.  Most of the events / relationships / circumstances in life don't really lend themselves to neutrality.  Making a conscious decision to always try to add value to others and be a part of their solution will put you on a pathway to success and significance.

2. What am I doing consistently in my life that will make today better than yesterday?

     - I am convinced that the key to success in life is perseverance and consistency.  You have to keep showing up,no matter what.  There are no overnight success stories, and life is a marathon (& feel free to enter your own cliche here).  We're also looking for growth here, and you're not going to be a brand new version of you in one day...but you can be a better version of you today than you were yesterday.

3. Will I lead...or will I follow?

     - This one is vital for anyone with influence, because leadership is influence.  How will I lead my family today?  How will I lead my team / colleagues today?  It's also important to know that your leadership is sometimes reflected in how well you follow those who lead you.  Being aware of your need to lead in the spaces where it's required will set your day on a trajectory of success.

4. What am I thankful for?

     - Maybe this one should have been 1st, now that I'm thinking about it.  Even when it seems like everything is falling apart, we must find a way to enter into a posture of gratitude.  Often, it's finding the little things to be thankful for that set into motion our attitude for the day.  The mere fact that you were able to get up and experience a new day is a blessing in itself.  Put things in perspective as you start your day by being grateful...it will make a difference.

That's the 4 For Today...hope this adds value to your day.  Thank you for taking the time to read, and please consider subscribing if you haven't already done so.  Start your day strong by asking questions...see you soon.

-ABB

4 Leadership Habits

Habits: we all have them...both good and bad ones.  

In studying great leaders, I've discovered certain habits that most good ones have perfected.  There will be many "leadership lessons" to follow in future posts, but I wanted to quickly dive in to 4 habits that I think we can glean from great leaders, and apply them to our own leadership styles.  

1. People follow people before they follow an idea.

- As a leader, you must develop your personal relationships with your team before they will buy into your vision. It's vital to have both, but the priority in the early days needs to be focused on the value you add to their relationship. 

2. Empathy is key: speak to others how they need to hear it, not how you want to deliver it

- I truly believe that we're slowly turning society into an empathy-deprived culture. So what does that mean for you and me? It means the leaders that focus on understanding the value that their teams need will win. It is critical as a leader to maintain the ability to put yourself in everyone's shoes. There's a reason the show "Undercover Boss" was so successful...empathizing with your employees is incredibly important. 

3. Humility: the last will be first

 - This is the essence of servant leadership. No leader exemplified this better than the greatest leader to ever walk the planet: Jesus. "The Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve and give his life as a ransom for many people." - Mark 10:45. He had all the authority to be served, but humbled himself, and many of those who followed Him would lay down their lives for His cause, in the same way He first laid his down for them.  You have the authority as a leader...but your authority should be secured in your humility. 

4. Learn to be selective in your battles. 

-Some battles just aren't worth the fight.  You know this already.  But sometimes we need other people to tell us the stuff we already know.  Consider that what I'm doing for you here :).  As a leader, you have countless opportunities to decide which battles are important to your team, and which ones you know you need to let go.  Spend some time reviewing those battles, and march forward with a level head on which ones are worth fighting for.

I hope you found these 4 habits helpful...be on the lookout for a lot of content like this in the future. If you enjoyed, please consider subscribing...it would mean the world to me! Love you all, talk to you real soon!

-ABB

I'm Glad I Didn't Write a Book in my 20s

I’ve run into a lot of 20 something’s in the last couple of months that tell me they are aspiring writers and that they want to write a book.  It got me thinking…I’m really glad I didn’t write a book in my 20s.  Not that I don’t think there are some amazing millenials with a ton of talent and insight, but I’m really understanding in my mid-30s how far I’ve come from where I was in my early to mid-20s. 

Spend your 20s absorbing information and experience like a sponge.  Read everything you can…listen to thought leaders on the subjects you’re passionate about…become an expert in the field you want to engage with.

…then write your book.  

I love the age we live in, where there have never been fewer barriers to entry for writers.  But let’s remember that the goal is to be learners for the rest of our lives, and sometimes we need to slow our roll on writing from little to no experience.  I’m still learning, and I too want to write a book…but only in the last couple of years do I believe I’ve gained some of the insight that I think might help others, only because I’ve lived it. 

Maybe my 50 year old self will tell my mid-30s self that I’ve still got a lot to learn…I hope so! 

Don’t be afraid to explore now for experience later.  

All the Best!

-ABB