Comparing Notes

Yesterday, I encouraged you to own your dream…not the dreams of others. One of the real challenges in ownership is the tendency for comparison.

We look at other people chasing and pursuing their dreams, and it’s easy to fall into the trap of measuring our own hopes and dreams with others…especially in today’s social environment online.

I think that an important thing to realize is that everyone wants to be successful…but success has very different meanings to every individual. I think the best definition for success is doing the best you can with what you have, wherever you decide to start.

Success needs to be on your own terms. Your dream to get to that version of success will always need to be your own. I think that God has called you to be you, but He’s never called you to be someone else.

When we compare our success with others, we often short-side what God has planned for us. More time worrying about what Jim the Neighbor is accomplishing is taking away time from you pursuing what you’ve been put on Earth to do.

Be inspired by others…but allow it to shape your own unique path. There has never and never will be another you! That means that dream in your heart is completely and utterly unique. Chasing someone else’s version of it will derail or hamper that uniqueness.

“Find out what it is you want and go after it as if your life depends on it…because it does!” - Brene Brown

God Bless!

-ABB

Whose Dream Is It?

Your dreams are pretty powerful…but only if you allow them to be. That’s why I want to do a small series of posts on really going after what you’ve always been dreaming about.

Unfortunately all too often there are certain factors that keep us from following or pursuing our dreams. The first of these is the dreams of someone else.

Hopefully, you were raised in a home that dreaming was encouraged, and nurtured and cultivated as your own. But this is often not the case. Parents are living out their dreams through their children…or realism is far outweighing the opportunity to chase after the dreams of our young people.

In these formative years, people lose touch with their emerging identity (who they are and what they desire to do) and they adopt the desires of someone else’s heart. This is most often to gain approval, or because there are just a perceived lack of options.

If you’re able to dig yourself out of someone else’s dream, there is one vital aspect I need you to do for me: I need you to own it! Quit trying to please the person that has talked you out of pursuing your passion! You’ll never be able to achieve a dream that you don’t own!

So quit wishing…and quit waiting…let’s work on our dreams together! No more excuses…like:

“Dreams don’t come true for ordinary people”

“If the dream isn’t big, it isn’t worth pursuing”

“Now is not the right time to pursue my dream”

So I need you to drop the facade…bet on yourself…and lead your life instead of just accepting it the way it is…

Your dream is not your parents dream…it’s yours. You may succeed if no one else believes in you, but you’ll never succeed if you don’t believe in yourself.

So all this to say: when the dream is right for the person, and the person is right for the dream…it’s pretty unstoppable.

Go chase your dreams!

God Bless,

ABB

It's On The Leader (a.k.a. It's Your Fault)

I've had the great opportunity to work with managers and leaders over the years that run the full gamut of competency and ability.  And one thing that I know about leading...it's difficult.  People are challenging.  It's much easier to pass the blame or pass the buck than to take charge and take responsibility.  

But if there's one aspect that I believe holds leaders back from their full potential...it's that they don't understand that it's always the leader's fault.  

If there is an employee or team member that is complacent or unhappy, it's your fault.  If there are complaining guests, it's your fault.  If you can't come in on budget, it's your fault.  Do you see the theme here?

So...here's where we separate the great leaders from the mediocre ones...

Great leaders embrace the responsibility, and make it their mission to find opportunities in the problems.

Mediocre and bad leaders take the responsibility personally...or they get offended...or just simply ignore the problems.

Being a manager is appointed.  But being a great leader is a decision to accept the challenge that "everything rises and falls on leadership."  

Oh, and also an important side note...let your team take the glory...you take the criticism.  And then watch what happens to the team that you lead!

God Bless,

-ABB

Scheduling Today

How can we make this week different than the last?  What steps can we each take to move the trajectory of our lives on a different plane?  

Are you taking the time every day or every week to intentionally plan your life?  If not, what seems to be holding you back?  

I know that I have this tendency towards distraction.  It seems that I have the hardest time focusing on the goal and direction.  So to that end, I'm finally learning two things about myself:

1) I have to plan out my time to focus on the decisions and direction I want to take with my career and my goals.

2) I need other like-minded people to encourage me along the way.

If this sounds familiar, I want to encourage you today to spend 10-20 minutes every day planning and scheduling the short term goals of the day that will lead you to the long term goals.  And additionally, find a mastermind or small group of people that share your same interests and direction.  

I'm here with you along the journey.  And if there's anything I can do to help, please reach out to me.  

God Bless,

-ABB

Documenting

I'm trying to make a small shift in direction on my writing.  For a long time, I've been hitting my head up against a wall because I felt that I needed to create valuable content.  But that was hindering my ability to put things out into the world to share with others.  And I'm starting to realize that maybe I can offer more value by documenting my journey.  This gives me the chance to write on a much more consistent basis.  Perhaps in sharing the day-to-day ongoings of my story, both my writing improves, and you get a little something out of my random thoughts :)

So, that being said, I hope you get to see a lot more of me.  I'm trying to take a page out of the books of people I really respect and look up to (like Gary Vaynerchuk and Casey Neistat.)  No grand delusions of being fancy with this blog...just some thoughts that I'm wrestling with for that day or week, and some updates on my life and journey.  Should be fun for me and I hope a little entertaining for you.

Here we are...just to provide a little update, we're still in Charlotte but still feel like our calling and mission is in Central Florida.  There are still so many details that we need to iron out before we can make the move, so I'm asking for prayers for our family as we try to make all of this happen.  I'm really trying to step up my game on content (hopefully I'll be able to share some news on this in the near future) and social media presence.  

I wanted to leave you with this idea:  what if every thought of yours was a real, tangible thing?  What additional value would you place on your thoughts?  What would you change about what you thought about yourself and your life?  If you have any ideas on that, leave me a comment,I'd love to hear from you!

God Bless, 

Alex

Sometimes You Get The Chance

You know that thing you've been praying for and searching for, but maybe haven't been working towards as much as you'd like?  

What happens when you're thrust into the opportunity?  Can you make your dreams a reality?  

This is the place I now find myself in.  For years and years I've wanted to be able to break out on my own and focus on my business.  To be able to really have an impact on others, to add value to their lives.  So now that it's here, how do we take advantage of this good fortune?

I'm learning that focus has to be the top priority.  I know many of you are still doing your 9-5 thing, and your dream job has to be accomplished in the 5-9.  But I'm learning that for me, the focus I had on a day job rolled into the focus for my side hustle.  Now that the 9-5 is gone, I have to generate all of the focus on my own.  And thus far, this has been the challenge.

What I'm learning is that I have to put together a daily task list on Evernote.  It's on all my devices and syncs so naturally that I've found this to be the best fit.  Once I have my list, all of my focus goes to completing the tasks that put me steps closer to success in my business and my personal life.

Sometimes you get the chance to chase your dreams.  I don't want to take this one for granted.  I have a new zeal for purpose, and I want to help you find and discover yours as well.  Let's make sure we're being intentionally focused.  I really don't think it comes naturally for most people.  So let's create our own. 

I appreciate you as a reader more than you'll ever know.  If there's anything I can do for you or help you with here in the near future, please send me a message.  I'm really working on being a better communicator with you, so look for some improvements in that department.  

Talk to you tomorrow. 

God Bless,

-ABB (xyz)

Pre-Shot Routine (Masters Edition)

I love Masters week.  It holds such a special place in my heart.  Growing up as a kid, we would get to go to the tournament every week.  And I always remember my grandparents so fondly around this time of year.

And as a golfer, I can always remember my game getting so much better right after watching all of the greats in person, over a span of this week.

The best part about being there (as opposed to watching on TV) is the ability to watch the player’s pre-shot routine.

Everything is so meticulous…from the practice swings, to the visualization of the shot, to the stance and address.  And if anything interrupts the player, he will pause, and then go through the routine again.

It’s really something spectacular to watch.  And the best players never let the height of the moment keep them from going thru that same routine.

And how much does this mirror life?

In order to find success, you have to develop your routine.  You need to practice your craft.  You need to visualize where you want to go in each step of the way.  And you need to have the proper stance and grip on reality, in order to give everything in life your best shot.

When life distracts you for a moment, you need to get back to the basics and the remember what got you there in the first place.

Life imitates art.  Learn to perfect your pre-shot routine.

Enjoy the Masters.  Spring is here!

-ABB

Your 10 Year Self

So here we are...all on a journey together.  We’re all in different places, and we’re all chasing just a little bit different version of ourselves than we currently inhabit.  Maybe you’re in chapter 1...maybe you’re reimagining who you could be.  If you want to talk to the future you of 10 years and be content and happy with the progress, I think you’ve come to the right place.

Let’s fast forward 10 years.  Where are you?  Who are you?  Who knows you?  Who loves you?  Are you happy?  Are you satisfied?  

I want to talk to 50 year old (10 years from now) version of Alex Barrett.  I want future me to tell current me of the wonderful stories of overcoming obstacles and finding true meaning and success.  I want him to tell me about a family that loves him.  About a career that is fulfilling and making an impact.  Maybe he tells me about grandkids or trips to exotic locales.  I want 50 year old me to tell me that life hasn’t always been easy, but that he worked hard and lived life to the max.  I want him to tell me he’s happy.

Maybe you need to sit down and have a talk with 10-year-down-the-road you.  Life is lived in days and hours, but accomplished in decades.  

Have the conversation...change your life to reflect what you want to see come to pass.  It won’t just happen...the decisions you make now will affect that talk you have.  Make it happen! 

All the best! 

-ABB

The Waiting

Tom Petty (RIP) was right...the waiting IS the hardest part. 

What are you supposed to do in the gap of time between where you want to be and where you currently are?  Time seems to be passing you by, and your dreams haven’t come true yet.

But patience is everything. 

We’re all in transition, in some form or another.  You can look at someone else’s highlight reel and think “wow, they really have it all together.”  But you know what...we’re all in repair.  And I believe that the moment we stop looking at ourselves with optimistic hope for improvement, is really the day we die inside.

You will have tough days / seasons / maybe years.  But there is always the opportunity for “what’s next.”  Don’t deprive yourself the chance to see what’s just around the next corner.  

I’m learning how to be ok in the waiting gap.  I want to see results, but as long as I’m compiling wins in the appropriate direction every day, I know each step along the way gets me to my goals.

Deploying patience as a 40 year old that looks back and sees so many years wasted, is a tough pill to swallow.  But I’m hopeful, and I’m willing.   

There is a design in everything.  Maybe it’s not always your design...but accepting that we’re part of a greater design can give us peace in what seems like chaos. 

Just wait...and see...and dream...and do...and then become.   

I believe in you, and you’re waiting will not be in vain.   

God bless you...see you tomorrow.

-ABB

Shake it Up

Starting anything new is tough.  Maintaining it is tougher.  Finishing strong is the toughest.

It’s always so much easier to follow the beaten path...stay the course...play in your comfotability.   Minimize the risk..it’s so much safer.

But we have become the most safe society in the history of the world.  We can’t send our kids out the door without a helmet, and we put all of our trust in our 401k.  What has happpened to us?  We’ve let years of a decent economy and relatively little unrest turn us into a bunch of softies. 

And I’m one of us...I’m definitely not pointing any fingers except at myself.  I’ve played it safe with my life for 20 years.  But I’ve made one different decision - it’s not going to stay this way.   

It’s why I created Xander.  It’s the 2nd half of my name and represents the 2nd half of my life.  The half that’s not just going to take the easy way out.  The one that has hopes and dreams that will be fulfilled in the 2nd half here on earth.   

There are risks to be taken...and they will be calculated risks.  I’m chasing some things, and I really hope you are too.   

So take a risk today, even if it’s just a small one to start.  We need a little shift in our mindset to get ourselves out of our comfort zone.   

Shake it up...see you tomorrow.

-ABB